Saturday, 2 January 2016

7 Things I Don't Want To Hear On A First Date

Since hitting my mid twenties I have found dating pretty miserable.  I don't know if internet dating is for me because I find myself being too judgemental and I think I am past that age now where you go out and meet people in pubs, clubs, bars.

First dates in general bring me out in a cold sweat, make me want to crawl into a ball and never see the light of day again; for every good one I have there's probably ten bad ones to outweigh it.  I have promised myself in 2016 to go out on at least one date a month and to help really ease the overwhelming fear of first dates I thought I would compile a list of what I hate the most about them.

1.  So how long have you been single for?

This is an absolute classic awkward silence filler for any first date and although I don't have a problem saying I have been single for X amount of time, there is just never a good answer to this question.  The trouble is, because I have been single about 4 years, it often leads to this next question.

2.  Why have you been single for so long?

What do men actually want me to say to this?  Whatever I say there is literally no winning answer to this because in their head they're just wondering what's wrong with me (which by the way the answer is nothing). But the answer is quite simple, I just enjoy being single; I like my own company, I like making impromptu plans and not having to consult someone else, I like the idea of going out and not knowing what the night holds.  

I am never sure this is a good answer though because it can a) create the wrong impression or b) make me seem strange because I am on a date saying I like being single.  But I am an open book and  it's the truth so I just go with it.

3.  A conversation stampede(r) 

Do you know those people that when you're in the middle of sentence and they're already starting their monologue and you're still not finished what you're saying but they're getting so excited about what they have to say that they end up talking over what you're trying to say.    Those people are the worst.

4.  About Your Ex Girlfriend

I don't generally like to talk about exes but if you're talking to me about your ex girlfriend during our first date it's not going very well is it?  I think I hear my phone ringing at this point, it's an emergency - G2G, kthanxbye.

5.  How You Know EVERYTHING

I believe that knowledge is power and I love people who can teach me new things and help broaden my mind.  I love it when someone has a difference of opinion to me about a band or a film but I cannot stand someone that talks like they know everything when actually they know zip.  Like when they're saying something to you that you know is wrong and when you question the validity of that sentence they shoot you down - nothing is more frustrating than a Know It who actually doesn't know it.

6.  You've been single for X amount of days/weeks

I am 27 now so in all honesty, I am looking for something a bit more serious these days and let's be honest, if you can count the amount of time you've been single in days or weeks then you're not likely to be ready for the kind of commitment I am looking for.  

7.  Your Life Story

I am not saying for a second that I don't want to hear about someone's life but I think the best first dates are the ones where you both listen and speak equally.  I don't want to be sitting across from someone who is talking about their life, their job, their friends, their interests, their favourite music (you get the gist) and not asking me about mine.  It's important to have equal input on a first date in order to get to know one another as well as you can.

What are you worst stories and pet peeves on from first dates?  Let me know in the comments!

Emma x

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